Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
by Trisha Joseph
As a Physics major in post-secondary education, I receive a lot of speculation about why I chose this course of study. Most come in the form of compliments such as: “You’re a physics major? You must be very clever and extremely intelligent” or “I could never do something like that, you must be so proud.” But the feeling I experience is far from pride in myself but rather a strong sense of discomfort. I do not internalize the praise, but instead worry that they will soon find out this is all not true. These thought patterns are not uncommon among students and adults in varying professions. In my time as an undergraduate student, the more success I experienced, the more I thought that I did not deserve them. When I found myself in rooms among other intellectuals or in difficult upper-level classes, I had thoughts that “I shouldn’t be here”. I felt like an imposter who had slipped through the cracks somehow and would soon be found out by those around me.
This nagging doubt that you haven’t truly earned your accomplishments and that you will soon be found out as a fraud is known as Imposter Syndrome. If you are unable to internalize your own accomplishments and find yourself attributing your success to other factors outside your control, then you may be experiencing Imposter Syndrome. It is important to point out that this is not an individual problem of low self-esteem, but a universal feeling in higher education. This is not a disease or abnormality, but a thought pattern and feelings experienced by millions of people across gender, race, age, and occupation. I was curious as to how these seeds of doubt are planted in someone’s head and how they manifest themselves in different people. As for myself, being a female minority, I often attributed my success to the need for diversity. If I were selected to be in a competitive research lab or admitted into an academic program, I would think to myself that “they needed more diversity in order to seem more inclusive”. In this blog, I illustrate a few examples of the development of Imposter – thought patterns, their resulting behaviors, and how one can overcome them.
In higher education, it is common to receive constructive criticism. When the criticism is less constructive, however, these statements can be used as a fear tactic. Have you ever heard the phrase “If this is too difficult for you, it may be time to consider a major change” or “This path may not be suited for you”? Many professors or advisors can inadvertently plant seeds of fear in students at their lowest point of struggle. But even the most capable professionals and academics face times of difficulty and it should be expected, as well as encouraged. I believe when there is no room for failure among intelligent people, we can feel the need to uphold an image of constant success even while experiencing personal struggle. How can this be a cause for feelings of fraudulence? It can develop the thought that you are different from those around you, or an imposter, because you struggle to achieve your success whereas everyone else around you seemingly does not.
I sat down to speak with Neley Morales who is a board member for SOSA and an established Physician Assistant in Central Florida. Neley and I spoke about her personal experiences with Imposter Syndrome and how she overcame it to reach her goals. In the interview, she expressed that her feelings of doubt originated from attending a high school where she was part of the minority. “Being a minority, being a woman, and being interested in a career in medicine, at the time it felt so far-fetched”, she explained. Neley is a first-generation student to Mexican American parents. She is the only one in her family to hold a STEM position, and although she experienced nothing but support from her family, she questioned whether she can make it in the medical field. After graduating from the University of Central Florida, Neley attended PA school at Rutgers University in New Jersey. What struck me by her experience with Imposter Syndrome throughout her journey to becoming a PA was how she experienced it in relation to her peers. She mentioned that her best friend from high school shared her dream of becoming a Physician Assistant and they bonded over the mutual goal. Unfortunately, when it came time to apply to PA school, Neley was admitted while her best friend was not. She reflected: “We both worked just as hard, we’re both smart individuals. Why was I chosen and not her?” Neley admitted that she sometimes asks herself now if she really deserves to be where she is. I recognized this as a form of academic “survivors’ guilt”.
We can compensate in several different ways for feelings of fraudulence and self-doubt. We may avoid areas where we feel inadequate by not even attempting a task, or withholding our thoughts for fear of failure. As an undergraduate student, I procrastinated on assignments and developed an aversion to studying because I feared that the failure I could experience would reveal that I was truly incapable all along. Some students may gravitate toward another form of coping, which is over-preparing, where the fear of exposure might lead them to plan for every question or situation beforehand.
A common theme among those who think their accomplishments are not their own is the act of concealing. Most people affected by Imposter Syndrome believe they are alone in thinking that way, because those around us don’t often express their doubts – similar to how personal struggles are concealed. I kept my thoughts of doubt to myself and would resist all affirmation about my work or my skills because I didn’t believe them to be true.
How can we combat these feelings and overcome Imposter Syndrome to live a life where we view ourselves as worthy? The key is communication. Once she found an academic community where her peers felt comfortable voicing their struggles, Neley found it easier to connect and find similarities in everyone’s experiences. “The more one person opened up, the more another person was like ‘hey I feel like that too! Okay, we’re not crazy we all feel like this’”, she said. It is easier to dismiss feelings that we are less capable than the people around us when we can have open conversations. Realizing that those around us share these feelings can be a big relief.
Other than to talk about it with trusted peers, you can also collect data and follow up on your actual impact. If you are unsure of whether you are making a difference in your academic or professional environment, follow up on the daily decisions you make and keep track of the differences they have made. You may realize a pattern of positive outcomes in your assignments or projects. Taking small steps like these can help you to feel confident in knowing you belong.
If you are experiencing feelings of Imposter Syndrome, I want you to find comfort in the fact that you are not alone! I encourage you not to leave the possibility of success to others but to embrace the opportunities that are available to you. Focus on the value that you bring by internalizing your success. Speak candidly and openly about your thoughts toward yourself with others and ask for feedback to confirm you current standing. You’d be surprised by how many people share your thoughts and concerns. By doing this, we can deconstruct the unhealthy picture of what we think other people are “really like” and create attainable standards for ourselves. It is a relief to realize that you truly are more capable than you think.